It's been a long time ...

As I go about my days now, things will happen that I think I should blog about and then I never get around to doing. Right now, I feel like my life is on hold while the real world is flying by me. I've been home for one month and am still unemployed/homeless. This isn't for lack of trying either. I have repeatedly applied for positions but that darn license is holding me up. I mailed in my application to take the exam FOUR weeks ago and still haven't heard from them. This is getting increasingly frustrating. On top of that, I was called about one of the positions that I applied for in Austin. I was so psyched about this job. They wanted to interview me so I passed all of their minimum qualifications and had the preferred experience (my specialization sure is coming in handy). So I called the lady back and first question was do I have my license? I explained that I was in the process. She said to call her when I had it and we would set up the interview. That was almost two weeks ago. How long are they willing to wait? Ugh. I am so ready to have my own place again - to live alone again - and have ALL of my clothes! I am so tired of living out of two suitcases which I've been doing since December. This has gotten old. I'm ready to settle down.

At least something has been occupying my time this week. JURY DUTY. Let me tell you - it is the most boring experience of my life. I have spent two days sitting around and waiting. The only thing that was said to us today was that we could go to lunch for an hour and then we had to be back at 10am. That's it - no update on the status of anything. We're left in the dark not knowing. I think I'd rather get a root canal - at least Dr. Scotty tells me every step he's making. However, I have decided that the one good thing about this is that I have now eaten at Poor Boy Lloyd's two days in a row. I have missed Louisiana cooking so much. Their crawfish poboy can almost make jury duty worth it. I'm crossing my fingers that I don't get picked for the jury though. I try so hard to not judge people and this goes against everything. I don't believe that it's our place to pass judgment on others. If I do get selected - I hope it's for something minor and not a murder. Louisiana has the death penalty, and I'm not okay with that.

This past weekend, my parents and I drove down to Meraux, LA to help my sister and her fiance paint their house. He's been rebuilding it for the past five years. Meraux was hit hard by Hurricane Katrina and everything was destroyed in the floods. Homeowner's insurance protects against floods - not hurricanes - so people were left with nothing. The sense of community in South Louisiana is amazing. People have slowly been rebuilding their lives as they can. It's their home and they're not going anywhere. So my mom and I decided to have fun with the painting. We took a trip to the local goodwill to pick up some painting clothes for us and my sister....

Really?

Earlier today if you would have asked me, I would have told you that I was genuinely happy with my life and where I'm headed. However, if you were to ask me right now, I think I would just answer that life sucks. I'm still excited to see where my life leads me, I'm just a little/maybe more than a little on the downside.

You see, tonight was my second date with the stranger. We started off with dinner at Baris, then watched Date Night, and then went back to his place to chat. It turned out to be simultaneously the best and worst date of my life. Oh gosh, how much I like this guy is ridiculous. We just click - never struggling to find anything to talk about ranging from which Star Trek series was the best to neighborhood revitalization, talking non stop at points and then enjoying the silence while looking at each other pondering what the other is thinking and then asking about thoughts and launching into a whole new conversation, feeling completely at ease in each other's presence. You know, just clicking. I am so comfortable around him and have even found a whole new side of me whenever I'm with him - assertive and confident and completely open and honest and 100% myself. It's liberating and freeing. I have told him how much I enjoy his company and how I find it impossible not to smile around him. He returned the sentiments. There is obvious chemistry between us.

You're probably wondering how what seems to have been such at amazing date night could also be the worst. Our lives aren't matching up at this point. I'm leaving Waco on Sunday unsure of when I will return. His funding for grad school has run out. At present, he is staying in Waco and working but possibly looking into UT Austin to finish his degree. So while one might point out that Austin is where I'm planning on living and would work if he gets into UT Austin, who knows when/if that will be. And he also used that dreaded phrase tonight "need time" to figure things out. I genuinely believe him when he says that he has had a great time hanging out with me and getting to know me. There are other reasons behind the "need time" that are not mine to divulge and which I can respect. It just sucks that I meet this amazing guy that I click with and can't wait to see and feel like time passes too quickly when we're together to only find out that everything is coming to a screeching pause (I refuse to say halt because I have some hope that I will hear from him again after "time"). Life just sucks like that. It's not easy.

So pardon me if I decide to hide under this rain cloud for awhile.