Mostly about my aversion to social situations.
And how I keep thinking Stranger Danger! when put in situations where I don't know anyone.
I'm not sure that people quite understand how bad this is. I don't go anywhere alone, and I won't go places where I won't know anyone. I have driven up to places before, parked my car, thought about going in, and then driven away again. It's bad. Last year at the SW Family Dinner, I didn't know anyone at my table. I left. Seriously people, it's that bad. I hate to admit it but I have also passed on hanging out with friends if I know that I am going to have to walk into a room full of people alone. I really need to work on this, I know I do.
So then I started thinking about my lack of a love life. This resulted in several amusing conversations today. Just in case you heard ... no, I'm not really looking for a sugardaddy. I think the fact that I don't talk to strangers and won't go to places where I don't know people or where I have to show up alone is quite a hindrance. Thinking back the last five guys I have dated were all guys that worked at the same place I did. Obviously it worked out well .... not. Maybe I need to actually start going out with friends and be more willing to talk to strangers ... and I mean strangers in the sense of people that my friends know.
I was told today that I'm mysterious in my blogs. I don't mean to be and it's not that I want to sound all secretive. I think it's best for the person that I'm talking about's privacy to not say their name. This mainly pertains to children and if I happen to be dating anyone. When things get serious, I'll definitely say their name but, until then, I think nicknames will do. And if you really want to know, ask. I'm seriously not keeping any secrets and most likely have no idea that I come across that way.
Speaking of, I have been keeping up a correspondence with a certain Mr. Darcy (yes, Patty, I totally stole the name from Pride and Prejudice). I like to call him my pen pal because essentially that is what we are. We've been writing back and forth since the beginning of February and I have to say, I really enjoy it. I think the art of letter writing as been lost so this is nice and refreshing. I feel very old school.
Tomorrow is my first 5K. You might be thinking this is a sudden random change of topic but it's not. Not only does my first 5K mean that I am having to run early in the morning but I have to run with tons of other people. STRANGERS. Normally, this wouldn't be too bad but I have to sign in at the registration table. I have to walk around the strangers and possibly talk to them. Awkward. I'll be honest, it wouldn't be the end of the world if I just happened to sleep through my alarm. But I need to go. I need to get out of my comfort zone and do this. Mainly because of graduation on May 16th. I don't know who else is going to the main ceremony but it's going to be a lot of strangers in a confined space. STRANGERS + CLAUSTROPHOBIA = ANXIETY ATTACK. Uh oh.
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